Yes – Able Frame of Mind

Negotiate and communicate without damaging the relationship and creating pushback. Paul Godin shows how to put the opposing negotiator in the right frame of mind.

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Yes – Able Frame of Mind

Here’s the video link of the transcript below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYIAQZEo78k

{Transcript}

In a negotiation, it helps to think about the relationship you have with the person you’re negotiating with. One of the things we sometimes do is focus too much on the issue—the substance—and we forget about the human being on the other side of the table. One of the things we want to do in a negotiation is put that person in a “yes-able” frame of mind.

If I use an example—one that I commonly face—it’s going to an airline ticket counter when there’s been a flight delay. If what I do is pound the desk, curse them for making me delayed, and say, “You’re irresponsible, you’re breaching your contract,”—if I attack the person behind the desk, who had nothing to do with that plane being late—then they’re not going to want to spend any more time with me than they have to.

If, on the other hand, I treat that person with courtesy and respect, over the years what I’ve found is that they’re far more likely to give me time, work with me on solving the problem, and help me find an answer that gets me to my destination on time.

So remember, always—when you’re dealing with a human being—ask yourself: What can I do to put them in a yes-able frame of mind and avoid putting them in a frame of mind where they want to say no to me?

As a negotiator, remember that you’re not negotiating with a company, a country, or a government. You’re negotiating with a human being who has to say yes. Anything you do that makes them want to say no to you—as a person, as an individual—is going to get in the way of getting your result in the negotiation.