What are Your Goals in a Negotiation ?

Paul Godin of the Stitt Feld Handy Group provides tips on identifying your primary goals in a negotiation without being distracted by disruptive secondary motivations.

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What are Your Goals in a Negotiation?

Here’s the video link of the transcript below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9Fn1s4JKRw&t=1s

{Transcript}

One of the things to consider when you’re preparing for negotiation is not just the relationship with the person at the table, but also who the other people not at the table might be—those who may have influence or decision-making power with respect to the deal or the issue you’re working on. We sometimes focus solely on the person across from us, forgetting that they may answer to somebody else. Maybe it’s a corporate president, maybe it’s a board of directors, or perhaps they want approval from someone else in their organization to ensure they’re heading down the right path.

So, we want to be aware of all the people—not just those at the table—but also those behind the scenes who influence the issues and the individuals present. A good example of this: one of my clients a few years ago was having a challenge with a family member who was suffering from addiction issues and would not listen to her. My client had multiple discussions with her brother about how to deal with the issues and found that none of those conversations bore fruit.

When we talked together about how to approach the issue differently, one of the things we explored was whether there was anybody else with a relationship that might make the delivery of the message more effective. When we talked about it, and why her brother wasn’t responding well to her, we recognized that part of the problem was that the brother didn’t see her as someone with enough background or experience to respect on this issue. She was the golden child—had never had any problems—and came from a very different background and perspective, one that didn’t align with the experience of addiction. As a result, she felt it was quite possible that he wasn’t able to listen to her with respect on those issues.

When we looked at other relationships involved that might have more credibility with her brother, she realized there was another family member—an older relative—who had suffered from addiction, fought through it, recovered, and was now doing well. That person, she believed, might be someone her brother would listen to and respect.

She went off with a plan to talk to her uncle and see if that person would be willing to have the same conversation she’d been trying to have. Several months later, I heard that they had done so, and that, for the first time, her brother had listened. The uncle had been effective in delivering the message, her brother was now approaching life differently, and there had been movement she had never seen before.

So, remember the power not just of dealing with the person at the table, but also of thinking about all the other relationships that might impact you.